Mirror Mirror on the wall

I hate mirrors. When I pass one I do everything in my power not to look at myself or even to catch my reflection. I reluctantly look at my reflection once a day upon leaving my  house to check and  make sure that I don't scare anyone. On the rare occasions that I do catch my reflection or have to spend time in front of the mirror I cringe.

Even though I don't like mirrors I do recognize their importance. If we don't check our reflection from time to time we could leave the house in a terrible state with broccoli in our teeth or our clothing askew. The mirror helps us to check on our outward appearance and to make sure we look okay.

For our physical inside appearance we have mirrors of sorts in ultrasounds and X-ray machines.  This  equipment allows us to get an inward reflection and helps us to make sure we look okay on the inside.

Mirrors, or various reflection equipment offer practical ways to look at ourselves and make sure we are okay. Where it gets tricky is when we need to check our spiritual insides. Spiritual stuff is a little harder to  look at . You can't necessarily see it in the mirror - it's not like we have a gigantic halo swirling above our heads that measures our goodness or a spiritual body within that can be detected and examined by X-ray machines. How do we then measure if we are spiritually okay?

We have to be a little more creative with our reflection - it's not as concrete as a mirror. A spiritual check up requires reflection of a different sort. It requires us to use a figurative mirror to reflect back on our day, our actions, our language, our choices, our friendships and our feelings. Sometimes  I cringe when I have to check on it. Like with my aversion to mirrors I sometimes turn my head when faced with that figurative mirror.

What I do realize is that in order to truly transform I MUST face those reflections no matter how uncomfortable I am or how disappointed with my short comings I might be. Cringing and turning away will not move me to transformation. Instead I will just sit in denial or ignorance preferring to remain as I am. I close myself  off to the wonderful experience of actually watching the transformation. I cheat myself of the opportunity to celebrate the accomplishments of transformation because I never checked where I was before so I can celebrate how much I've changed.

God can do miracles in our lives and can change our spiritual insides with or without our help. His view of us in the mirror is very different than ours.  When we take the time to examine ourselves we can then partner with God and be aligned with the transformation He has in store for us - it is then that we do not turn away but notice full on how awesome our God is.

Are YOU looking at ME?

K Weaver

 

 

I’m sitting here all by myself

As happy as can be

I notice that there seems to be

Someone looking at me…

 

Hey! Are you looking at me?

I quickly ask, just to be clear

And they continue staring straight

As if they CAN NOT HEAR!

 

HEY YOU! HEY YOU! I begin to shout

Are YOU looking at ME?

Still no answer is given

I’m getting REALLY angry!!!

 

HEY! ARE-YOU-LOOKING-AT-ME???!!!

My blood is boiling hot!!

Still silence is returned to me

I’M FREAKING OUT! A LOT!

 

HEY! YOU! YA YOU! HEY!

Can’t you stop or look in another direction?

 

HEY YOU! HEY YOU! Hey…wait a minute…

It’s only my reflection!

Footprints of the heart

A friend shared a picture on Facebook yesterday, the picture had a trail of rocks made to look like footprints with a quote from EleanorRoosevelt neatly typed below the picture reading  "many people walk in and out of your life, but a true friend will leave their footprint on your heart" it got me thinking ..Technically it's not just good friends who leave their footprint on our hearts. It's pretty much everyone we encounter!

There could be "well-doers" who believe that the "truth" they speak is for the betterment of your character. It is true that truth will build character but only when delivered correctly. These folks are harsh and blunt. Their timing is off and their "help" actually causes damage to the heart . They leave a footprint that looks more like a skid mark, a scraping of the first layer of ground  caused by the motion of a swift kick.

Other times it's people who I'd call " know it alls" they speak as if they are the utmost experienced in every situation. The ones who have all the "answers" and whose option is the only valid one in the room. They leave a footprint more like a dent; the kind you get when your car door randomly swings open with such force and collides squarely with the side of someone else's car!

Yet again, it may be people who speak gossip and lies at you, let's call them "better than everyones" these folks leave dark scuff marks all over the heart. Black marks that do not easily wash away, like bruises to the heart, their lies are distasteful, hurtful and shameful.

I suppose I could go on and on but I hope you see my point in these few examples. These people all exist, they aren't that uncommon. In fact we encounter them everyday and sometimes we find them in our very own bathroom mirror staring right at us!

I do not advocate for the fact that we can't be truthful and honest or even provide some strong advice or impart our wisdom on someone. It doesn't mean that we should not try to be helpful or kind to others, it's just that sometimes we work in extremes, going to the severe side of each scenario. It is there in the extremes that we create the damaging markings and imprints on the heart.

All encounters with people are impactful, they each leave some kind of marking on our hearts. Some are harsh and leave brutal markings, but the good ones are like gentle barefoot steps on a warm, soft beach.  Be mindful of where you tread, Our spiritual footprint is powerful ..

Walk with purpose, walk with intent- for the heart is delicate and easy to dent.
Walk with passion, walk with delight - for the heart in darkness is in need of light.
Walk with truth, walk with care - for the heart captures lies and can't fight despair.
Walk in silence , walk with boldness - for the heart needs company and shelter from coldness.
Walk in front, walk behind- for the heart needs leadership or a push of some kind.
Walk together, never walk alone- for the heart needs others for love to be shone.
Kw13

Long time now see....

Well it's been quite a while since I last posted! When I look back I think my last post was in 2008 - that's too long. I've written some new poetry since then but one of the things that has been on my heart is to start writing again. I'm most happiest when I can let my creative energy flow. I work in a job that is more about numbers and analytics so I don't get much chance to exercise the creative part of my brain. I find that when I'm working I get so stressed and just don't have the mindset to unleash the fun stuff. I end up feeling like I have nothing to say or even contribute to a good conversation.

Recently my daughter went off to Trindad to explore some new adventure. As part of her journey she chose to blog. Her posts have been fantastic and it gives me a unique window into her life while she is away but more importantly I get a window into who she is. I've been with her pretty much everyday for the past 18 years. As her mother I thought I knew everything about who she is, then she moved away.  Now through her blogs I get to see a different perspective and know her on a whole different level. She inspires me more and more as I watch her grow. I'm amazed by her compassion, her creativity and her beauty (both internal and externally) she has developed into a wonderful person. I'm extremely proud of who she is and who she is becoming  I love how her creative mind work, albeit strange at times she surprises me daily.

At the risk of her thinking I'm copying her I thought I'd reopen my blog and instead of just posting poems I'd mix in some other writing as well - just for fun! So sweet daughter, thank you for the inspiration. I love you more and more each day and I hope that though my posts you have a window to me that may reveal new things about me and perhaps also inspire you as well.

It would be amiss of me to submit my return to this blog without including a little poetry so  it seems fitting that I should share a poem that my daughter and I wrote together. It did not start off as a poetry piece rather a poetry war. No planned and more of a revival poetry spar that turned into a pretty cool poem if I do say so myself. I hope you enjoy:

My Mother Taught Me So... Letters from Mother to Daughter
-Kathi & Mackenzie Weaver 2013

(mother::)
You flitter like a tiny bug, you stay not long enough to hug,
The  little time we have to spend, is almost coming to an end
You  will soon be flying away ... Spread your wings sweet bug come back one day!
Leave your stinger at the door there is sweeter honey that's in store
You shall learn what life's about when you fly with your wings spread out!
I'll miss your buzzing in my ears that has been going on for years!
But, I have to let you go, there are wonders of the world to know!
So fly safely little one, I hope you have a ton of fun!

(daughter:)
Oh mother don't you fret or frown for I have better plans..
I'll fly somewhere along the plains and everywhere I can....
I may not know where I must be or if I am quite there...
I may be blinded by a cloud or mauled on ground by bear...
Or maybe I'll be quite well off and fly through open air...
And feel the breeze upon my wings, the sunshine up and fair...
But either way I'll get to where I may need to go...
And though I try, and also fly, my mother taught me so....

(mother:)
The journey may be tough my love, but never be of fear
The Lord is watching from above, Your journey He will steer
And as you tarry here and there, your parents will decree
That God will give you all His care, if with Him you agree
So trust not in your own suffice, but stay close to His word
For many shall give you their advice, only His should be heard!
Live life like there is no tomorrow, laugh with hearty blow
May you experience no sorrow, but find love where 'er you go!

(daughter:)
And thank you mum, for this advice, that came straight from your heart...
It will apply to all I do, through science and through art...
And if I don't know how to do a single thing you say...
Then let me be reminded of it each and every day...

(mother:)
Dear daughter all I've said to you was advice given to me
It was said by my dear mother once, when she set me free
It is advice for you to give your child, as they prepare to go
So they can tell their little ones what my mother taught me so!